Celebrity watching is a popular pastime for many humans, including Milady, so I should not have been surprised when she decided we should dine at the Barracuda Grill. Dragons can rarely be swayed in their dining preferences by mentioning that Mike Bloomberg or Michael Douglas is a regular client – though sometimes the mention of Catherine Zeta Jones has had an effect on the weaker-minded (predominantly male) individuals of the species. Still, Milady usually bases her dining decisions on rational preferences, like the food being served. Dining anywhere in Bermuda is an enlightening experience; one increases one’s culinary horizons while simultaneously lightening one’s wallet – or as Dragosaurus once put it, “The perceived light at the end of the meal may be headedness, purse poundage, or both.” The taxi fare alone is not a recommended contemplative item for the faint of heart, and taken with a good bottle of wine, the tariff for a first rate dinner in Hamilton makes the rent for Manhattan studio seem entirely reasonable. Now that I have made it clear that dinner was pricey, were the tastes encountered in this eatventure worth it?

We began most auspiciously with a Williamette Valley Pinot Noir (Eagle Creek 2011) that presented ripe strawberries, opened into succulent Bing cherries and finished with fresh spearmint. Given that everything arriving here (and that’s any wine) is expensive to ship and heavily taxed, it was a relative bargain – but more importantly, it was delicious. Our waitress was properly impressed by our choice, and her efforts to improve our experience were successful. Milady was torn between the fish chowder (a widely offered and highly competitive Bermudian favorite) and panko-encrusted shrimp as starters. Upon hearing that I would be having the tamarind-glazed and seared scallops, she recommended the shrimp to Milady with the chowder to share. I had ordered the grilled figs with melted feta and balsamic honey over butter lettuce as a salad, and in a brilliant move, our waitress served the chowder and grilled figs simultaneously. The peppery soup with onions, celery, potato and shreds of fish contrasted stunningly with the sweet figs, funky honey and soothing lettuce. {SLURP!} We feared momentarily that the shrimp and scallop dishes had been forgotten under a heating lamp in the kitchen, but they appeared as the chowder and figs disappeared. By rearranging the order, our waitress created two perfect courses from potentially unreconcilable, however delicious, sets of flavors. The mild crunchy shrimp heightening our appreciation of the piquant tamarind glaze on the briny scallops. Milady chose grilled local rockfish as her main dish, served with beautifully prepared bok choy knobs and sweet sticky rice, it was deceptively simple in presentation but sublimely complex as a whole. I chose the Beef Duo. A small charbroiled filet and sous vide short rib presented on a plate divided by a line of parsnip puree. The filet sat on a bed of pureed potato and was topped with a “yolk” of flash-fried bernaise sauce. Tasty and inventive, the only drawback was the filet was a tad overdone. The sous vide short rib sat on spinach done to perfection. The rib itself was a marvel of crunchy exterior with the tiniest hint of juicy fat peeking through the crust, and meltingly soft meat below. The pairing was so good I had a hard time deciding which meat to finish first – I wanted each set of flavors to sit on my tongue at the end of the main course.

Milady chose, with the help of our waitress, the “cheesecake”. This version is so light and delicate it really deserves another name. It was somewhere between a mousse and a soft pudding and served in a tall squarish pot, but it packed an intense flavor. I foolishly allowed my passion for ginger ice cream to overcome my common sense – two scoops of ginger and one of chocolate were nice, but nowhere near the incredible cheesequake experience.

We made our way to taxi-stand vowing to return later this week and confirm our suspicions that Barracuda Grill may be one of the best meals we’ve ever enjoyed. Unfortunately, taxis were in shorter supply than great food – so it took a while to get back to the hotel and put eInk to ePaper, but it was worth it.